I'll Remember
by Blazingdusk
Summary: Rin never disliked him, even when he became someone else.


A response to a challenge. I had to write a fic in a fandom I have not written in before/would not normally write about, with a pairing I wouldn't normally write about, and in a genre I wouldn't normally write about.

So, I picked Spirited Away, a fandom I felt like I couldn't touch because it was so perfect.

Pairing is eventual one-sided Rin/Haku, because I am a Chihiro/Haku fan, but Rin/Haku certainly could be played on. It wouldn't be my first choice, though.

Genre is romance, even though it is bittersweet, because...I just don't write romance very well, so I tend to avoid it.

Enjoy~

-:-

When I first came here, I was any other girl looking for opportunity. Yubaba's bathhouse was pretty famous, and I didn't really know of any other place that would take me in at my age. Upon first request, I had the job, as Yubaba always needed people willing to work for her. I promised to work until I couldn't move my limbs any longer - little did I know how quickly my promise would come back to me, much less the pay involved for doing so.

At this bathhouse, you work. You slave and toil until your muscles feel like they could slide off your bones. You go to bed with your legs still trembling from running up and down stairs and across slippery floors and hauling things twice your weight. You're so frazzled and weary by the end of the day, and you tell yourself it'll be worth it - but that's only on your first day. Once the paycheck comes, you're outraged. You feel ripped off, like all your hard work just got washed down the drain, because all that your paycheck contains is a measly amount of money that's hardly enough to get you a hot bath at the very place you work at.

Still, I kept working here. I had nowhere else to go, and I'd already made a couple of decent friends that made it a little more bearable. We would trade work stories at the end of the night and compare paychecks - those were about the only things we _could_ do. Life here was, and still is, pretty dull.

Then Haku came. He wanted to work for Yubaba, and she seemed to find something worthwhile in him, because by the next day he was waltzing around the bathhouse like he owned it.

Our first encounter was pretty tense. He had been inspecting our work - we'd been cleaning the floors that day -, and upon looking at my section of floor, he glanced over it critically and pointed to a small patch and said, "You missed a spot."

I was not in the mood for some newbie to tell me how to do my job. I angrily threw down my rag and stomped over, getting chest to chest with him. I was about the same height as Haku then, so I probably wasn't very intimidating. "_Excuse_ me, but I wasn't aware you had the authority to boss me around. Just who do you think you are, anyway?"

By that point, everybody within hearing range had stopped to gawk at our exchange, the nosy little cretins. Haku, however, was not fazed by our audience, but actually grinned at me, amused by my outburst. "Is something funny?" I demanded, hands on my hips.

"Maybe."

"Hmph."

He laughed, and my cheeks flushed with anger and embarrassment. He was _laughing_ at me! "I'm Haku," he finally said, holding out his hand. "I'm Yubaba's new errand boy, or whatever she wants to call me. I am sorry about calling you out like that, but I like making an authoritive figure. I guess I picked the wrong person."

I huffed again, but I ignored his outstretched hand. "Rin," I mumbled. Couldn't hurt to tell him my name, could it?

His smile widened in amusement. "It's nice to meet you, Rin." And then he was gone.

I didn't see him much for awhile after that, only in passing. He would give me tiny, almost secret smiles if he caught my eye, and eventually, I found myself smiling back. He wasn't so bad. I still didn't really like his bossiness, but it began to bother me less and less.

I was pouring out the dirty water from the baths one early morning - a rather tedious job, as there are mounds of buckets to be poured. I heard the footsteps behind me but paid no mind, figuring it to be another worker coming to collect a few empty pails.

"Rin?"

Startled, I looked around. Haku was there, smiling at me, his large green eyes gazing into my own boring brown ones. He wasn't so bad looking, really - well, okay, he was pretty darn cute, but I wasn't about to say something like that out loud, especially not to him.

"Need any help with those?" He vaguely motioned to the pails left to be cleaned out.

"No," I lied.

He raised an eyebrow and I sighed. I'd always hated admitting I needed help, especially from men. "Fine. Grab some and pour."

He neatly settled beside me and easily began a light conversation, as though he were talking to an old friend.

"Where are you from?" I paused to stare at him, and I couldn't help but wonder why he was even talking to me, much less asking me about myself.

"A little town a few trainstops from here. It's not very far," I finally answered.

"Why'd you leave?"

I laughed shortly. "There was nothing for me there. I had to go somewhere, just to get away." I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. "What about you?"

He hesitated, staring out into the courtyard. The sky was pale with first light, casting gray shadows on their surroundings. "I can't remember where I'm from," he said softly.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it." There was a thoughtful silence, and then he looked at me again. "You know something, Rin? You're really different from everybody else."

I blinked in surprise. "Different?"

"You're just...you aren't like the others here. You have this honesty about you that I haven't seen in the others. They're so..."

"Greedy?" I supplied, grinning wryly.

He smiled. "Yeah, greedy. But it's a good thing you're not, you know. I'm glad somebody here isn't."

"Thanks," I mumbled, tossing another pail behind me.

"I have to go, but it was nice talking to you, Rin," he said suddenly, vanishing just as quickly as the words had left his mouth. I turned quickly, ready to call him back and tell him to help me finish, when I realized all the pails were empty. A little miffed, I simply stood and began to haul them all back to storage.

-:-

A few weeks passed with a couple of similar conversations, each one a question from Haku about me. He seemed hungry for information about me - maybe he just liked getting statistics. He asked me everything, from my age, to what my parents were like, to siblings, to favourites. I answered every one of them honestly. Despite his rather one-track conversations, however, I began to silently crave his company, and I began to anticipate our meetings.

I was leaning against a balcony one morning, staring at the sky as I lost myself in my thoughts and memories. I didn't even hear Haku come up until he settled beside me, silently as a cat.

"Rin, you're a very interesting girl."

Startled by the abruptness of his statement, I eyed him cautiously. I didn't know what he was getting at, but I wasn't so sure I was going to like it. You never could tell with Haku. "Okay?" I pressed cautiously, waiting for him to elaborate.

"I just think you're interesting, and I like you." He leaned in, pressing his lips against mine. They remained there for several moments, and I vaguely noticted he smelled like the sea. I'd never been to the sea.

He finally pulled away from me, smiling with amusement. "I like you quite a bit, actually," he breathed.

I was shocked. My first kiss had been with _him_? I quickly stemmed my rising outburst, stopping to think for a moment about what had just happened before I exploded. He wasn't _that bad_, and I slowly realized I had come to like him, too. But only a little bit.

I said nothing to him, however, and merely turned my gaze back to the sky.

When I looked back, he was gone.

-:-

Another week had passed since he had kissed me, and I realized I had begun to miss him. I would slyly search the bathhouse for his face every day, but he never showed. I eventually assumed he was out on an errand for Yubaba.

I waited for him, though. Every day I returned to the balcony where he had kissed me, hoping some weird kind of magic would bring him back to the place my obsession had begun. It was as I was thinking, about him, of course, that I saw the dragon, long and slender and beautiful. It flew into the top of the bathhouse where Yubaba's chambers were located. I didn't really think much of it.

An hour later Haku suddenly appeared by my side. I smiled softly. "Where did you go?"

"To do something for Yubaba," he replied, sitting down beside me.

"Why did you leave so fast last time?" That had been bugging me for awhile, and I had been aching to ask him.

He smiled mysteriously. "You needed time." He seemed to pause before reaching into his haori and pulling out a long necklace with a shining glass bead charm. He slowly handed it to me, a faint pink tinting his cheeks. I took it and inspected the charm, admiring the beauty of the glass - there was nothing like that here. It was truly one-of-a-kind.

"For me?"

He nodded.

I smiled brightly, clasping the necklace around my neck before hugging him. "Thank you," I breathed.

Nobody had ever gotten me something so beautiful, or even a gift at all, and I knew I would cherish it forever. I could feel the tears beginning to brim in my eyes. Fighting them was useless, and I finally just cried.

-:-

We grew closer after that. He would find little excuses to spend time with me, and he would kiss my cheek whenever he left. We would return to our balcony in the mornings, when neither of us had to work, and lie together, playing with each other's hair and basking in the sunlight.

-:-

_"Haku_."

_"Yeah?"_

_"Remember how you said I wasn't greedy, like all the others here?"_

_"...yeah, I remember that."_

"Just this once, I want to be greedy."

_"Oh?"_

_"I want keep you by my side forever. I'm allowed to have what I want this once, aren't I?"_

_"...yes, Rin. You are."_

-:-

We continued to spend time together, and I thought then, maybe, I was falling in love with him. Haku brought out the best in me, and I loved him for that. I liked to think I brought out the best in him, but he never told me so, and I was never a mindreader.

Of course, all good things aren't exactly meant to last. Maybe for some people they could, but not in my world. Good things don't happen to people like me, and I was naive to think that they would.

Yubaba had noticed Haku's distraction, and to this day, I'm sure it was all her doing. The only reason I haven't left this bathhouse is because I have nowhere else to go, though I would be lying if I said it wasn't because of Haku.

That old crone used to be horrible. I think her baby softened her up a bit, but I wish he had come sooner.

Yubaba had begun to call Haku away on more and more errands, and sometimes he would be gone for weeks. When he came back he was always tired, but he always had time to smile for me, to kiss me or run his fingers through my hair. I didn't mind not seeing him as much, as long as I knew he still cared for me.

But then he began to shut me out. Over the space of a few weeks he got shorter, colder, snappier. He would hardly smile at me, and when he did, I couldn't help but think it was forced. He would make his time with me as short as he could, and he would even find excuses to get away from me. It was like his work had taken over him completely, and his loyalty to Yubaba had overcome what he felt for me - everything he felt for me. He wasn't my Haku anymore.

It was when he literally pushed me away that I began to realize I was losing him, if I hadn't already, and that I couldn't do a thing to stop it. I tried so hard to prove myself wrong. I gave him little gifts that would mean everything to him and nothing to anybody else. I tried seeking him out just to talk, I tried anything that would make him stay and listen, but he always managed to stomp on it and leave me on my knees.

So, I approached him directly.

"Haku," I called out, having caught him, literally, one day at work.

"You should be scrubbing the baths, Rin," he snapped. I flinched, but did not relent. I _would_ figure out why he had changed so suddenly, why he had shut me out for no reason.

"Haku, why are you being like this? What's happened to you?" I demanded, keeping a firm hold on his wrist.

"What are you talking about? Nothing has changed about me," he frowned, obviously confused. He wasn't lying. I didn't know what was going on any longer, or what had happened to Haku. It was almost as though a twin, the exact opposite of Haku in personality, had replaced him.

"This isn't you!" I almost yelled, and he narrowed his eyes. Wrenching his wrist from my grasp, he began to turn away.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Rin. Get back to work, or Yubaba will fire you." He quickly left me there, even more confused and hurt than I was before.

He was gone. Haku was gone, replaced by a strange boy I didn't even know.

When Chihiro dropped into our world, a simple human who was in the wrong place at possibly the right time, I was actually kind of grateful. I knew she was doing something good for Haku, and I was actually happy that she was fixing him. I should have been jealous, but I couldn't bring myself to be envious of a little girl, even if I wasn't much older than she was.

She had gained Haku's heart, but I had gained something, too. As I watched them, I had gained understanding on the power of love, and I couldn't help but think that mine hadn't been very strong. Chihiro was just better at it than I was, I guess.

-:-

_"I'll miss you when you go, Chihiro."_

_"I'll miss you, too, Rin."_

_"Chihiro?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Thanks."_

-:-

Now I was standing on the bridge, gazing into the water below and thinking about the past. The sunlight caught the glass charm around my neck and I picked it up, examining the pretty bead. It had once been a gift from someone I had cared for - probably even loved.

Now, it stood for a little more than that.

I grasped the locket and pulled, feeling the chain snap under the pressure. A slow tear leaked out of my eye as I dropped the necklace into the ocean. It flashed once in the sun before vanishing in the water with a soft _ploosh_, never to be found again, and only to be remembered.

_I will be strong, because I will not forget._

I didn't want to give up Haku, but he was no longer mine to keep - only mine to remember.


End file.
